Shibuya Daze

  “  Well, made it back alive. Had the time of my life too! Got 1,086 new pictures and a few dozen videos as well.

I have to say, I was not sure what to expect. Claire had warned me that he family was poor, but happy. I told her no worries, my family had money but was not happy. Me, I am somewhere in between, in both senses.

Still, I was not prepared. I should have been, Claire finally grew confident enough to let me see her place here in Subic the night before we left. Wow. I can’t even put into words how sad I was to see she lives like that.

She and her sister Dorothy ….   ”

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  “  Afterwards our little group went back out to the main road and down to Club Asia. Shige went in first and after just a couple words to the doorman and security team, we were all ushered in without any cover charges, no questions asked, no IDs checked. Inside immediately a couple of women came up to Shige, probably in their early 30s or so, and started talking with him. He introduced us and before long the drinks were flying. As other women would come up to Shige he would introduce them to us all, particularly Jared and I, saying how we were from America. He was without a doubt trying to hook us up, what a fucking badass!

By the time we left the club Jared and I had two women with us. Suzuki called it a night at this point, so Shige, Isao, Jared and I and the two ladies left for another club. Same thing there, we were let in no questions asked. However, whereas Club Asia was huge and packed and spanned multiple floors, this was a smaller bar with just a waiting room with bar and tables/couches plus a second room dance floor where a DJ was spinning.

There were a lot less people here as it was some sort of VIP party. We partied here for a couple hours, taking turns doing shots and telling stories and having a fucking fantastic time. It turns out this dude we were talking with, we were partying with, well he was actually a famous Japanese rapper, and it was his birthday party — but none of this did we learn until we had left. Otherwise I ….   ”

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  “  So some of you may have heard me mention the acronym LBFMPBFR (“Little Brown Fucking Machine Powered By Fish & Rice”) prior to my departure, a term I was introduced to by some friends and quickly adopted into my vocabulary. It is an absolutely wonderful term, commonly known as LBFM for short, and I was surprised at just how many people — especially world travelers — are already aware of it.

To be more descriptive, what it really means is an accommodating Asian woman who’ll provide enthusiastic sex in return for a small payment, even no payment at all, just because they love the American dick! In other words, not like women from the States (who require big spending and even then often still don’t put out).

The term “LBFM” was coined several decades ago when Western soldiers were posted to Asia and discovered the joys of LBFM. Having come from lands where women were neither little nor accommodating, young (and not so young) soldiers and sailors very quickly warmed to the LBFM concept.

Believe it or not, as I have learned so far, the availability of enthusiastic LBFM sex also played an indirect role in extending the Vietnam War — according to one inside source members of the press, the military brass, and even the Embassy personnel slanted their reports to make the war seem ultimately winnable. Why? They were in no hurry to trade the LBFMs in Asia for the OOSMs (“Over-sized Overbearing Spending Machines”) they had left back home. And I for one completely understand ….   ”

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  “  Jared and I have been tearing it up at some of the clubs here in Tokyo the past couple weeks and they are fucking awesome! They are so much different and way better than any of the clubs we have ever found in the States. Every one of them is packed full with laser light shows, fog machines, numerous DJs spinning all sorts of awesome songs, multiple levels (each usually with a different theme), cute women dancing onstage or on-bar, projectors running with all sorts of visual shows or music videos or concert clips, …… The list goes on and on.

I mean, for any of y’all that have ever been to a rave, that is probably the closest thing I can compare it to–but even that does not do justice to these kick-ass clubs. Let’s try something: Imagine a rave, complete with a DJ, light-show, and fog machine, but now up the number of DJs to half-dozen and through in more lights and more fog machines. Take away all the people doing drugs and replace it with people getting drunk; Not too drunk though, most people here know when to stop. Now, still imagining, forget all the drama and arguments / fights that come up at raves and replace those with people all smiling, laughing, and telling stories. Now, still imagining, throw in a few huge bars offering great drinks at great prices, staffed with cute Asian ladies that refuse to take tips, and don’t forget to add a couple more cute Asian women dancing up on the bar or stage. Then take this image that you have in your head, and put it on steroids, to really knock it up another few notches. That, my friends, is what all the fucking clubs over here are like. It is unbelievable to say the least. ….   ”

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  “  Oh man oh man where do I start? So we arrived in the Philippines like five days ago and there was immediate shock. The airport in Manila looked like it was built in 1950 and never upgraded. There was not so much as a single computer anywhere throughout the terminals, even at customer service. The signs announcing arrivals/departures were still those old ones with the letters you have to physically change yourself. I expected the airport to be bigger, just because Manila is the capital of the Philippines and does at least some international business, but nope–a whooping like half-dozen terminals, that is it.

Going out into the city was another shock. We met up with our driver and climbed into a van with a cooler full of beer. Not a bad way to start — then however, we got out on the road. I tell you folks, I have never seen anything like; no other country compares, not Mexico not Costa Rica, nowhere! The roads are a cluster-fuck of old vans, smoke-spewing buses, motorcycles that barely run, all driving crazy like. People swing from lane to lane non-stop, will even pass on the shoulder, and there are no rules like in the States: first come first serve. It is a wonder more accidents do not happen. And when I inquired with our driver, he said people in PI drive crazy, so you just have to driver crazier! And what a fucking crazy ride it was. We were passing people in the on-coming lane, sometimes coming so close I thought we were about to have a head-on accident. And as if all that is not bad enough, you have people constantly crossing the street and even–believe it or not–standing in the middle of the street trying to sell bottled water or fresh fruit. Unbelievable shit, unbelievable!

As for the condition of the city, Manila is a shit-hole. Even the locals here ….   ”

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  “  If you should find yourself near Arenal Volcano, we recommend you visit the Venado Caves — officially known in the cave registry as Caverna Gabinarraca, as this was the original name given by the local indians — which are located about a 45-min van-ride south of La Fortuna. The cave system (well, what has been explored so far) consists of over 2,700 meters and is believed to have been formed about 20 million years ago. Believe it or not, these caves were not discovered until 1945, although it was almost 30 years later before any extensive exploration was done. Even to this day there are still unexplored portions, as you can see when you look at the close-up of the map below.

Any of the local hostels / hotels / resorts / excursion companies can arrange it for you once you are in town. Hell, they will all be fighting for your business, so don’t waste time and money and extra fees pre-booking ANY excursions online. We booked through our hostel Arenal Backpackers Resort and paid $50/person, but from looking online some people said they were being charged as much as $70 (although one blogger reported that they took a pirate taxi and managed to get supplies and a guide for $30 total, although he did have to translate for the rest of his group).

The drive up there is only 15 miles or so but can take up to 45 minutes, as the final segment of road is slow going and the very last stretch dirt and thus super-slow going. It goes up through farm country and you get the chance to see many small houses and farms. But, it’s worth it.

After arrival — well, technically upon signing of the waiver — you are provided with rubber boots and a hardhat with attached light. Just a forewarning ….   ”

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  “  Going out to Quezon province, more specifically to the Agos-Agos barangay near Infanta, was an eight hour drive through and past Manila to the eastern side of the island. And you better believe it was a trip! For a week I lived literally in the jungle, with almost everybody in bamboo-type huts, no running water and intermittent electricity. I was a little scared about eating the local food before the trip, but I ended up having no issues. Although to be fully honest there were a couple dishes that I passed on, such as balut.

Balut is a fertilized duck or chicken egg with a nearly-developed embryo inside that is boiled and eaten in the shell. They are common, everyday food in some other countries in Southeast Asia, such as in Laos, Cambodia, and Vietnam. Popularly believed to be an aphrodisiac and considered a high-protein, hearty snack, balut are mostly sold by street vendors in the regions where they are available. They are often served with beer.

What you do is slam the flat end of the egg against a table or other flat surface, then suck the partially formed mass of feathers and beak out with your mouth. All the locals seemed to quite enjoy this delicacy, and even some of the young girls proclaimed how delicious it was. ….   ”

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